E030 · Communication & interaction
Speaking in some situations but not others
What might be happening when a young person speaks in some places or with some people but is consistently unable to use speech in other situations?
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Overview
Speech can be physically available and still become inaccessible in a particular social context. A young person may talk freely at home, whisper to one trusted person or speak when no one is watching, yet be unable to produce words in class or with unfamiliar adults.
This is not well understood as refusal. Pressure, scrutiny and the expectation to prove that speech is possible can strengthen the threat around speaking. The young person may desperately want to answer while their body does not permit speech.
Speaking in some situations but not others is a presentation rather than an automatic diagnosis. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder characterised by a consistent inability to speak in particular situations despite speaking elsewhere, but appropriate assessment must consider language familiarity, hearing, speech and language needs, trauma, autism, acute shutdown and the person's usual communication profile.
The useful question is not:
“How do we make them talk?”
but:
“Where is communication available, what makes this situation feel unsafe, and how can participation grow without pressure?”
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What this might look like
A young person might:
- talk, laugh or sing at home and become silent at school;
- speak to peers but not adults, or to one adult but not a group;
- whisper, mouth words, gesture, point, write or use a device;
- freeze when directly questioned;
- rely on a friend or family member to relay messages;
- speak when they believe no one is listening;
- find greetings, registration, ordering, telephones or performances especially difficult;
- avoid eye contact or movement when speech is expected;
- appear expressionless while experiencing intense internal distress;
- become unable to ask for help, pain relief, the toilet or safeguarding support;
- communicate more when an adult talks alongside an activity rather than face to face;
- use speech after a long warm-up and lose it when attention shifts to them;
- be described as stubborn because speech occurs elsewhere;
- withdraw from friendships or activities that require unpredictable talking;
- make academic responses through writing or selection;
- feel ashamed after being rewarded, filmed or publicly praised for speaking.
Communication is present even when speech is not. Adults must notice and respond to the modes that remain available.
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How this may change through development
At this stage
Early childhood
The pattern may first become visible on entering nursery or school. Time to warm up is ordinary, especially with unfamiliar people or a newer language, but a persistent, distressing and situation-specific inability to speak warrants careful assessment and early support.
Early childhood
The pattern may first become visible on entering nursery or school. Time to warm up is ordinary, especially with unfamiliar people or a newer language, but a persistent, distressing and situation-specific inability to speak warrants careful assessment and early support.
Middle childhood
Classroom talk, friendships and independence grow. Adults may unknowingly create cycles of pressure through repeated questions, rewards or demands to “use your voice”. Alternative communication and a consistent graded plan can protect access.
Early adolescence
Multiple teachers, oral assessments and peer visibility increase unpredictability. The young person should be directly involved in deciding who knows, which goals matter and how progress is protected from public attention.
Later adolescence
Appointments, interviews, work placements, travel and independent help-seeking raise the stakes. Planning should build reliable communication across real contexts, including written or digital routes, while any expansion of speech remains collaborative and gradual.
Choose each stage to see how the presentation and surrounding expectations may change over time.
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Strengths and differences
A young person with situation-dependent speech may also show:
- rich communication in safe contexts;
- careful observation and listening;
- strong written, visual or non-verbal expression;
- sensitivity to interpersonal dynamics;
- loyalty and humour with trusted people;
- persistence in navigating demanding settings;
- precise knowledge of what increases or reduces pressure.
Speech volume is not a measure of thought, consent, sociability or courage.
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Top tips for support
Accept the communication that is available
Respond to gesture, writing, symbols, text, choice or a trusted communication partner. Do not make access conditional on speech.
Remove the immediate speaking demand
Use comments and natural shared activity more than direct questioning. Give time without watching for a response. Avoid asking the young person to repeat speech for an audience.
Build safety and predictability
Keep adults, places and routines consistent where possible. Prepare changes and agree what will happen if speech is unavailable.
Create a gradual plan with expertise
Where appropriate, a trained professional may guide very small steps that vary one feature at a time, such as person, place or task. Progression is not surprise exposure.
Protect private success
Treat new speech as ordinary. Public praise, celebration or sudden demands can make the moment more threatening.
Preserve access to help
Provide a rehearsed, reliable way to communicate illness, pain, safeguarding concerns, consent and urgent need without speech.
Coordinate adults
Agree language, response methods and progression across home, education and clinical support. Inconsistent pressure can undo trust.
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Things needing careful planning
Map where, when, with whom and through which modes communication is available. Note language used, group size, distance, direct attention, noise, novelty, time of day and warm-up.
Clarify:
- whether the young person speaks in at least one setting;
- which languages and communication modes are familiar;
- whether there are hearing, speech or language concerns;
- whether silence is persistent and situation-specific or an acute stress shutdown;
- whether trauma or safeguarding concerns require a different response;
- how the young person can communicate pain, danger and consent;
- which small next step is genuinely tolerable.
Sudden loss of speech, new neurological signs, acute confusion or inability to communicate following injury requires urgent health assessment. Disclosure concerns must follow safeguarding procedures regardless of communication mode.
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Practical support principles
A useful situational-speaking plan has five parts:
1. Access — recognise every reliable communication mode. 2. Safety — remove pressure, scrutiny and surprise. 3. Predictability — agree people, places, choices and fallback routes. 4. Graduality — make one manageable change at a time with appropriate guidance. 5. Agency — let the young person shape goals, privacy and pace.
Progress may mean entering a situation, communicating a need, using a new partner, tolerating attention or speaking a word. Speech is one possible outcome within a broader goal of communication and participation.
From understanding to support
Relevant Phoenix Atlas approaches
| Approach | Fit | Why |
|---|---|---|
| A017 Communication partner strategiesAtlas record available | Development priority | Helps adults reduce direct pressure, recognise non-spoken communication and respond consistently. |
| A018 AAC and multimodal communicationAtlas record available | Development priority | Provides dependable communication for learning, safety, consent and relationships while speech is unavailable. |
| A005 Environmental adaptationAtlas record available | Often useful | Changes audience, space, noise, timing and task demands that can intensify speaking threat. |
| A006 Visual and anticipatory supportsAtlas record available | Often useful | Makes expectations, choices and fallback routes predictable before communication is required. |
| A026 CBT-based anxiety interventionAtlas record available | Context dependent | May be relevant within an assessed, age-appropriate clinical plan; generic anxiety tasks or unplanned exposure are not substitutes. |
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Evidence and cautions
NHS guidance describes selective mutism as an inability, not a refusal, and recommends removing pressure while accepting alternative communication. It emphasises careful distinction from unfamiliarity with the language and from other communication or developmental needs.
The Department for Education's speech, language and communication review supports tiered identification and collaboration with families and specialists. Evidence for particular selective-mutism interventions remains limited and often comes from small or heterogeneous studies, so plans should be individual, monitored and cautious about causal claims.
Graded exposure principles may be part of specialist support, but forced speaking, flooding or surprise performance can increase threat. School staff should not construct an exposure programme without suitable assessment and coordination.
Source notes
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Explanatory lenses
Situation-dependent speaking may occur within selective mutism and alongside other anxiety, autism, developmental language disorder, speech differences, hearing needs or learning differences. Trauma-related silence, acute shutdown and a person's usual non-speaking communication profile require distinct understanding.
Some young people communicate differently across languages or need extended time in a new setting. Assessment must distinguish inability from unfamiliarity and must not punish culturally or linguistically expected behaviour.
A diagnosis may coordinate specialist support when the pattern is persistent and impairing. It should not be required before adults remove pressure or provide a safe non-spoken way to learn and seek help.
The continuing Phoenix question is:
“Where is communication already safe, and how can we widen participation without making speech the price of belonging?”
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